Monday, November 22, 2010

Post Infidelity Stress Disorder

My therapist often tells me that I exhibit the signs of someone who has post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Someone with this disorder experiences a heightened state of anxiety and anguish over a traumatic event and will envinsion themselves going through the experience over and over again. In essence, people who suffer from PTSD not only experiences the horrible event once but relives it many times. This can be in thoughts, dreams, and in some extreme cases visions.

To describe a stress response to infidelity much like PTSD, Dr. Dennis Ortman came up with a term called Post Infidelity Stress Disorder or PISD. The symptoms are very much like what I am experiencing:

Certainly, discovering a partner’s adultery causes enormous stress for any individual. However, some are traumatized, feeling overwhelmed and unable to cope, often for years. Their reaction is similar to those who have had life-threatening experiences, such as war, natural disasters, violent crimes, physical and sexual abuse, and automobile accidents. These individuals manifest a predictable pattern of symptoms marked by alternating periods of emotional numbing and reliving the horror of the trauma (van der Kolk, McFarlane, & Weisaeth, 1996). Many victims of infidelity experience their psychic life threatened, and become preoccupied with the betrayal and filled with rage. I call their reaction “post-infidelity stress disorder,” with the acronym PISD, which expresses the rage that is a primary symptom of the disorder. Exerpt from: Journal of Psychosocial Nursing and Mental Health Services abstract.

There's always something comforting about finding out what is really going on inside of you. It helps you feel less crazy and know that many other people must be feeling the same way if they have a name for what you are experiencing. Is there anyone else out there that fit this description?

By the way, there's a book by Dr. Ortman that further explains his theory for PISD. It's called Transcending Post Infidelity Stress Disorder.


  1. I just discovered your blog and am finding it reinforcing. I, too, am going through the PISD symptoms. Since discovery 12/27/10 I am amazed at the cycles of despair and rage. Though the time between cycles is lengthening, each time it's as if everything if fresh and it's physically and mentally shocking. My husband's slut was 25 (he was 70 at the time) so you can imagine the damage this has caused.

  2. Yes, fresh is definitely the right for it. As if you are going through it all over again. It's so devastating.

    I'm so sorry to hear about this situation for you...I hope that you can find some comfort from my words...

  3. I as a child caught my father cheating multiple times with my own eyes and ears from age 5 to age 21. Even though I'm not a spouse of someone who cheated I am the daughter of the father who cheated her entire life. I am now 22 and seem to cant have a normal relationship and I too experience P.I.S.D


    Hello viewers i'm HERVEY BAY GRANDPARENTS For the fifth time I tried to calm myself down and convince him ( Marcos Alvin)our relationship was worth it, I cried, hoped, and ultimately felt miserable. Seeing him after our breakup did not help either. I was lost, hurt, and confused.According to “It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken,” a book by Greg Brehrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Brehrendt, people who have been dumped should cherish the time they have alone. Because it might be the last time you are single and have time to enjoy doing things you like alone, before you meet the person who could make you happy but my situation was far different because i couldn't go more day, weeks, months without Alvin beside me, My co-workers knew i was passing through great trauma and hard times i couldn't explain my ordeal with anyone because i don't want the third party advisers in my relationship with Alvin because his family have been so negative about us, I could no longer bear it than to speak to my college friend and now a co worker Justice Flora who once hard a broken marriage but didn't tell anyone how it ended and maintain a happier home with his husband after months of separation so i seek for her advise and she said to me you don't have to kill yourself over Alvin all you need to do is to contact the great love spell caster in Africa called DR OGUDU he's going to make Alvin and his entire family and cherish you beyond words can explain, I did as Flora have advised after Providing him with the needed materials to appeals the spirit of true love and subdue hatred from the Alvin family, All happened within 48 hours as he promised and Alvin was at my office with a Rose love flower kneeling before me and my colleagues confession to me how much he loves and care about me Flora was so happy and asked me to accept Alvin back and return the loves and care that were going to make great couple and family, Now Alvin family sees me as the best thing that has happened to them i'm so grateful to DR OGUDU contact him now and be happy again in your relationship, below is his details

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  5. My husband and i got Married last year and we have been living happily for a while. We used to be free with everything and never kept any secret from each other until recently everything changed when he got a new Job in NewYork 2 months ago.He has been avoiding my calls and told me he is working,i got suspicious when i saw a comment of a woman on his Facebook Picture and the way he replied her. I asked my husband about it and he told me that she is co-worker in his organization,We had a big argument and he has not been picking my calls,this went on for long until one day i decided to notify my friend about this and that was how she introduced me to Mr James( a Private Investigator  who helped her when she was having issues with her Husband. I never believed he could do it but until i gave him my husbands Mobile phone number. He proved to me by hacking into my husbands phone. where i found so many evidence and  proof in his Text messages, Emails and pictures that my husband has an affairs with another woman.i have sent all the evidence to our lawyer.I just want to thank Mr James for helping me because i have all the evidence and proof to my lawyer,I Feel so sad about infidelity.

  6. If you know you not ready for a relationship why get into one and still cheat and liar. I was dying inside for my cheating wife, i had no prove, no one to run to. Everyone thought i was paranoid. until i was referred to a Private Investigator  Mr James . I told him about my situation and He understood me well and helped me spy on my wifes iphone.He hacked her Gmail and Facebook account and linked all her WhatsApp and phone conversation to me, to find out the truth.I saw all the evidence and i was heart Broken,I just want to openly say thank you Mr James for helping me get evidence against her,i feel so hurt. If you need help please contact him ( via email. 

  7. I suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a private investigator and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s phones Text messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr james was able to help me get all this information, you can contact him via email(


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