Women Who Cheat

So I am making a little change in my topic of blogging today because I am on a rant lately on women who cheat. What the  hell is wrong with women who cheat? Honestly. What is wrong with you?

We all know that men are stupid and think with their penis' sometimes but women - have you lost your minds? Apparently. If you have a husband who hasn't cheated on you - then you should appreciate that. If you can't stand him for some other reasons, well, then deal with that. Bring it up - go to marriage counseling - tell him you are done and want a divorce. Anything but start sleeping with a male slut. It makes you trashy...really.

Then there are the women who cheat who have children. Okay, really? What is wrong with you? You have children and this is the role model you want to be to them? You want to show them it's okay to be mommy by day and slut by night? Classy...really classy.

You know, I am not perfect - who is? But I sure as hell wouldn't be slutting myself around at the expense of my family.

If you're reading this and you're a woman who cheats - grow up! You aren't in high school anymore...it's not all about good times and wild hairs up your ass. It's about time to be an adult and appreciate a normal life full of real love. Yeah, that's right, that gem you're banging ain't in love with your ass (well....he may be in love with your ass...but that would be about it). If he was in love with YOU, he would have enough respect to tell you to leave your husband before laying down with him. Your male slut is just as trashy and classy as you... what a perfect pair. HA.

I know what you are thinking, "You don't understand...my husband doesn't love me...he ignores me...I need more out of life." Look, life isn't easy...sometimes we have to make difficult decisions. If you can't deal with your husband, no matter what, it's time to end the marriage. If you have kids, yes, it will be hard on them but how hard will it be on them when someone finds out you are an adulterer. Don't think they will find out? Fine..go ahead and keep doing what you're doing...don't say I didn't warn you.

My Bitterness About the Affair

Yesterday, I received an email from one of my readers. It struck a chord in me so I wanted to respond here in the blog. She gave me some suggestions for great cheating songs, a site on recovery, and then said this:

Lastly, you seem extremely bitter which is very understandable. In the long term, you will need to make peace and the marriage a place your husband wants to be or he will be gone. 

I know that when you come to this blog, you see my rage and "bitterness". However, this is an Infidelity Rage blog so I am not going to discuss how great my marriage is now compared to the way it was before. This is my safe place to come to vent my raw feelings. 

Some people overgeneralize and believe that seeing one part of something means it's the whole of something and in this case, it is not that way. I am not always "bitter" or full of rage. Normally, I am one happy person. Or I wouldn't be able to live with myself never mind my husband living with me. 

I wonder what the situation is for this person who wrote this because while I believe I shouldn't be downright cruel to my cheating husband, I don't think I should bow down to him and make life peaceful for him just so he doesn't leave me. Like I have said before, this is a process that I (and no one else) has to go through at my own pace. One day, I may get to that peaceful place where I never get upset or maybe I won't. If I don't, then that is a consequence of his actions and he has the freedom to do whatever he would like...and so do I (always keep that in mind).

I love my husband and I think my husband loves me. We are working together on this and we hope to come out of this storm stronger. In the process though, there will be lightening and thunder because that's what a storm is. People who choose to bow down and cover up their feelings don't ever truly let go of what has happened and they carry it in their subconscious forever...

Understanding the Affair

I don't know if I ever will understand why my husband had the affair. I know that he is the world's biggest selfish person...or at least among the selfish people on this earth but I don't know if that is what really led him to the affair.

My husband broke down yesterday because all I wanted was for him to leave me alone. I just wanted to wallow for a day or so in my own self pity...but it drove him nuts. He convinces himself that I am planning on leaving. Honestly, what did he think was going to happen when he decided to cheat on me? He said he didn't think at all. I can't believe that. I just can't. It's not like he set out to meet her and sex just happened...This was an 8 month affair.

Wedding Pictures After the Affair

I have threatened many many many times to rip up all our wedding pictures and  throw them away. I have also threatened to set them on fire. I have no feelings attached to that event any more. All of the meaning in those pictures and promises have been broken. Do I really need them? All they do is remind me of the lies he told on that day.

My husband is all wrapped up in  the wedding pictures. He said I better not ruin them. What? Because you enjoy looking at the promises you broke? Come on...really? Doesn't it make YOU upset to look at what you through away. A love so kind, pure and innocent. That's all over now. It's tainted love...it has so many holes...that I sometimes wonder how it will ever stay afloat.

How do you all feel about your wedding pictures? DITCH EM or KEEP EM?

I'm in an Infidelity Rage...RIGHT NOW!

I just told my husband that I was sorry that I ever married him and I was definitely sorry that I came back to him. No, before you think he cheated on me again, he didn't.


I read an article in the latest issue of Redbook about a man who missed his wife because his wife was so busy with the kids. The author said that he felt ignored and that he felt like life was going to be like that forever. Until one day when him and his wife had some alone time and she did something special for him (as simple has just fixing his coffee and buttering his english muffin). Then he realized that even though he wasn't first right now, he came very close behind, and that someday their kids would grow up and they would again be together and be each main focus.


This author sounds like my husband...except this guy came to this conclusion BEFORE he had an affair. My husband refuses to believe that he had an affair because he felt he was second best. He'll say he feels second best to the kids all day long but that being the reason for the affair he will never admit. Instead, he likes to say that he went crazy...as in mentally ill crazy. Honestly, even though my intellectual self kind of believes it... deep down...I don't buy it. I believe he has been craving the attention that the slut gave him and he just fell right into it because as selfish as he is...he didn't care who gave him the attention... as long as he was getting it.


You know what annoys me even more and sends me into a rage. Most of the marriages I hear this happening in, have another complaint that you will never hear from my husband's mouth...that there was a lack of sex. That's probably the first thing people come up with when they wonder, "I wonder what pushed him over the edge"...Yes, it must be that his wife wasn't putting out. HAHAHAHAHAHA....yeah okay. Hardly. People complain about going a week or a month without sex? Not in my husband's vocabulary. The longest we would go without is a couple of days...maybe three days in extraordinary cases. So yeah, what a damn jerk. You could had it so much worse...


I just don't deserve a husband who cheated on me. I feel like I made the biggest mistake in my life when I married him. I wish someone would have told me that when you marry someone, you may actually assume responsibility when he does something wrong. My whole life I've done things that I wouldn't be ashamed of. If I made a decision, I decided carefully because I know my decision reflect me as a person. Well, now I am ashamed and I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG.


Look, I'm sorry I wasn't all over you every second of the day. Or I wasn't calling you constantly while you were at work. Or that I didn't make you dinner every night...oh wait I did that....or do all of your laundry...oh wait I did that....or stay up at night unable to sleep worrying about your heartache over your grandfather dying...oh wait I did that....oh sorry I didn't sit down at the kitchen table and ask you how your day was...oh wait I did that....or watch wrestling with you just to spend time with you...oh wait I did do that. You know... it's bull that he cheated on me. He really doesn't deserve me...he really doesn't.


I'm getting tired now from the emotional outburst...so I am going to try to sleep. I told him that I don't want to see him until next week when he gets home from being on the boat all week (he leaves tomorrow). I told him not to call me....he of course said that he will call because he has a right to talk to the kids ----OH OKAY. Because when you usually call you ask to speak to the kids.....NOOOOOOO - even after I told him our daughter said that she wished he would ask to talk to her. UUUUGGGGHHHH....SELFISH SELFISH SELFISH...



Bed. Now.

I Should Have Never Married

Sometimes I wish I never married. Don't get me wrong...I love my kids...more than anything in the whole world. I just wish I had them without the marriage part. Seriously, there are days like today that I just think marriage is just too much work. Too much work without enough happiness to balance it out. Of course, I am a wife of a cheater. So yeah, that has a ton to do with the happiness factor. I've worked so hard for 7 years to make my husband happy and what do I receive in return...a big affair. WHOOHOO!!!! I feel so lucky...

Back from the Infidelity Rage Break

I decided to take a break from Infidelity Rage because I began to think that it may be affecting my recovery process. I was doing a lot of reading on the subject of affairs and it was clouding my perception of my own situation.

Basically, I was taking what other people's reasons were to cheat and putting them on my husband. The reasons why my husband cheated and why other husbands cheat are different. Every person has an affair for different reasons and I am learning that through my therapy.

In a nutshell, the holidays were rough thinking about they almost didn't happen the way that they did - with me, my kids and husband all together. We ended up dropping the counseling center we were going to because the counselors were not helpful and I even had a confrontation with the marriage counselor because she said that I shouldn't expect Michael to tell me the truth when I ask him questions about the affair. WHAT?! Yes, he will tell me the truth and he will tell me the truth for the rest of his life if he wants to stay with me.

It was meant to be though because we ended up finding a psychologist with a PhD in family studies as well as theology. He also has a license in marriage and family therapy with 20  years experience. He is also trained in hypnosis and is accredited or whatever you need to be established as a professional hypnotist. HE IS AWESOME!!!!!! I am so impressed with his progress with us already. He has opened so many things up for me... and while it's been rough to look at the issues I have and will struggle with through my recovery, I know that uncovering them is the best way for me to deal with them effectively.

I hope that with this blog I can take some of the things that I learn in therapy and tell you all what works for me so that it may work for you. If you aren't in therapy, I am highly recommending that you seek it. Search for that golden therapist... If you had a disease, you would seek medical treatment, wouldn't you? Well, look at it this way. Your marriage has a disease and it needs to be treated. Take your head out of the sand and start digging so you can finally find out why your spouse cheated, why you are feeling the way you do about it and how you can overcome the disease so you can learn steps to avoid it happening again.

Her Words to Me by My Cheating Husband

He did it again. He really needs to read the emails he sent to his slut and the ones she sent him because frankly, I'm sick of hearing him either repeat the same things he said to her to me or saying things she said to him to me.

Last night, we were having a really great phone conversation, until he completely ruined it by saying, "It will be like an early Christmas when I get home!". WOW....Those are the exact words she wrote to him in an email when she was getting ready to come meet with him here.

I know he can't possibly remember everything he has said to her and she has said to him and I am hypervigilant about stuff right now, but really, that phrase must have stuck in his mind library for him to repeat it exactly how she wrote it. It must have excited him or sparked some sort of positive reaction to make it stick the way it did. Well, of course it did, she was his "love" at the time.

It makes wonder how many other things he says to me that they shared. After 11 years of being with him, it really sucks that he is a product of this relationship, when the only relationship he should of had was with me. It's one thing if we weren't together and he took things from relationships he had before "my time" but this was during "my time" and I feel so cheated.

Yesterday at the gym, I heard this song and it describes how I feel right now:

He Doesn't Deserve This LIfe

As Thanksgiving draws near, I am struggling with some thoughts that have really made me depressed. I remember after finding out that my husband cheated and I was getting ready to hand over the check to the lawyer for the separation how soon I would be dealing with either Thanksgiving or Christmas without my kids. This devastated me...more than finding out my husband was with some other girl.

Now, I sit and  think about my decision not to divorce him and making this marriage work. I am conflicted with sadness and rage. A part of me is sad that this almost didn't happen, while the other side of me is angry because after what he did, he just doesn't deserve to be with a loving family during the holiday. He not only betrayed me but he betrayed our children, so why is he so lucky to have us around now?

I feel like he should have been punished more for his infidelity. He should have experienced what his consequences could have been because unlike me, I don't think he fully understands what could have been. He wasn't the one looking for a divorce...it was me. I was the one who had the ball and decided what to do with it. That scares me, because I could have made a different choice, which would have changed the course of our life forever.

Swallowing Rage

Photographer: Darren Robertson

My husband came back last night from being away for almost a week. For some reason, whenever he comes home, I get a surge of emotions, mostly rage. You would think I would be excited to see him again but instead, I have something like post traumatic stress disorder.

When my husband came home early from his deployment to see his dying father back in April, he hardly looked at me and wasn't interested in me at all. He was so different. I chocked it up to grief and just tried to be supportive. Well, in hindsight, he was stricken with guilt because he had just committed infidelity.

So now, whenever he comes home from being away, it's like I return to that time and it enrages me. The last time he came home about a month ago, I couldn't control it and we ended up having a heated discussion about the affair for better part of the night. Not exactly what he had in mind when he came home, if you know what I mean.

As I go through the process of surviving infidelity, I feel myself progressing. Last night, I again had those same feelings but I was able to swallow them. They were there...I just chose not to fulfill the urge to fuel it. It was hard but in the end, the night was much more romantic and peaceful.

I would not recommend that anyone swallow their rage until they are ready to. It's taken a lot of yelling at him and processing of the affair to get to this point. I am also not saying that I have swallowed the rage forever. I will have my time again...it just shows some progress that I was actually able to control it this time.

Dear Annie: Cheating Wife Won't Stop

Photographer: Simon Howden

I just read a Dear Annie question about a guy who's wife was caught cheating, begged to have him stay with her, is going to marriage counseling but continues to talk to her lover every day for an hour. Here is my response to the cheating wife:

Ummm....I just have to say, WTF!? End it already! You either want your husband or you want your boy toy. You can't have both lady. I know so many people think they can but really, stop being stupid and selfish. Your lover won't commit suicide...he'll move on to some other slut who's stupid enough to fall for his "charm". You think you are special? If you were that special, you would have left your husband so you could have your side dish all the time. This whole game is ridiculous. Make your mind up sweetie...it's not that difficult.

True or False: Cheating Husband's Words

Photographer: jscreationzs

I wonder if my cheating husband really means what he says. I can't stand that he tells me the same things that he said to his slut.

Just this morning, I was telling him that I didn't sleep well. He replies that he doesn't sleep well without me laying next to him. Yeah okay, he said that about 100 times in email to the mistress. Glad you were sleeping next to me every night but yet telling someone else that you can't sleep because you aren't sleeping with her. It's all fake too because he slept just fine. 

So how true are the things that my cheating husband is saying to me? And where does it stop? Does he truly love me for me or are there ulterior motives? If he can say things like that to me and her then how do I know what to believe anymore. I hate him for what he did to me and ruining my security in his words. I used to take his words as truth and now it's all speculation. Ugh...him and his affair.

Update: My husband is two for two this morning. I chose to be the better person and ignore the comment. I am having a good hair day so I snapped a picture and sent it to him. Dont worry, total innocent picture of my face. Well, he responds nicely with that I am gorgeous etc. Then he took it one step too far...he texted, "Yummy!" Yeah, exactly the same thing he said to HER of a picture she sent of her all dolled up to go to the bar.

The Rage of Infidelity

I have never felt the intensity of feelings as I have when I found out that my husband was not only telling some other girl that he loved her, missed her, and wanted her, but also having sex with her.

Oh, it's all fun and games until the wifey finds out...then all hell breaks loose! No one, including myself, ever heard or felt the fury of my rage.

As I work on my marriage (because stupid actually says he loves me), I am prepared to tell my story about my personal journey through infidelity recovery. Here's my reality show; there will be good times and bad times...very very bad times. Buckle up, you're about to embark on MY emotional rollar coaster ride!