Thursday, January 13, 2011

Back from the Infidelity Rage Break

I decided to take a break from Infidelity Rage because I began to think that it may be affecting my recovery process. I was doing a lot of reading on the subject of affairs and it was clouding my perception of my own situation.

Basically, I was taking what other people's reasons were to cheat and putting them on my husband. The reasons why my husband cheated and why other husbands cheat are different. Every person has an affair for different reasons and I am learning that through my therapy.

In a nutshell, the holidays were rough thinking about they almost didn't happen the way that they did - with me, my kids and husband all together. We ended up dropping the counseling center we were going to because the counselors were not helpful and I even had a confrontation with the marriage counselor because she said that I shouldn't expect Michael to tell me the truth when I ask him questions about the affair. WHAT?! Yes, he will tell me the truth and he will tell me the truth for the rest of his life if he wants to stay with me.

It was meant to be though because we ended up finding a psychologist with a PhD in family studies as well as theology. He also has a license in marriage and family therapy with 20  years experience. He is also trained in hypnosis and is accredited or whatever you need to be established as a professional hypnotist. HE IS AWESOME!!!!!! I am so impressed with his progress with us already. He has opened so many things up for me... and while it's been rough to look at the issues I have and will struggle with through my recovery, I know that uncovering them is the best way for me to deal with them effectively.

I hope that with this blog I can take some of the things that I learn in therapy and tell you all what works for me so that it may work for you. If you aren't in therapy, I am highly recommending that you seek it. Search for that golden therapist... If you had a disease, you would seek medical treatment, wouldn't you? Well, look at it this way. Your marriage has a disease and it needs to be treated. Take your head out of the sand and start digging so you can finally find out why your spouse cheated, why you are feeling the way you do about it and how you can overcome the disease so you can learn steps to avoid it happening again.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Share your thoughts!