Friday, January 14, 2011

Nightmares About the Affair

Last night was just plain bad. I had two horrible nightmares. I caught my husband cheating on me again with the same person, which meant that the affair never ended. The only great thing about the dream was that I got to speak to her and ask her a ton of questions. Many of her answers were different from what my husband has told me and when I look over at him since he was still in the room, he confirmed that she was telling the truth.

I also got a chance to tell her a little about my marriage and how it wasn't as bad as she probably told herself to make her immoral acts justified. She was surprised that we were intimate as much as we were and that we were telling each other how much we loved one another and that we truly were best friends.

Don't get me wrong...I was devastated in the dream finding out that he has been lying to everyone including our therapist.

The second dream may have been a continuation of the first. My husband decided to leave me and continue his relationship with his mistress. I left with the kids and I saw her at the front door waiting to go inside the house with him.

I understand my dreams are just part of the process. They reflect my fears about the affair as well as some of the things I need to get off my chest. I just hope with time I'm able to sleep soundly and at peace.

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