Friday, February 11, 2011

Wedding Pictures After the Affair

I have threatened many many many times to rip up all our wedding pictures and  throw them away. I have also threatened to set them on fire. I have no feelings attached to that event any more. All of the meaning in those pictures and promises have been broken. Do I really need them? All they do is remind me of the lies he told on that day.

My husband is all wrapped up in  the wedding pictures. He said I better not ruin them. What? Because you enjoy looking at the promises you broke? Come on...really? Doesn't it make YOU upset to look at what you through away. A love so kind, pure and innocent. That's all over now. It's tainted love...it has so many holes...that I sometimes wonder how it will ever stay afloat.

How do you all feel about your wedding pictures? DITCH EM or KEEP EM?

5 comments:

  1. Don't ditch'em. They're your history. Maybe a trusted friend or family member could hold them for you.

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  2. Its not the photos only. Everything related to marriage will cause depression to you including the day you got married to him.

    Let him be free. Don't fight with him.

    The best thing you can do to yourself is to keep yourself busy all the time.

    I can understand your pain because of the fact that you have started a blog for this issue.

    One more thing: Always remember that whatever you do for people around you can't make them happy and they will find a way to complain about you.

    Probably you can make it a point to indulge with your children more often.

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  3. Thanks for writing Sandeep!

    You are absolutely right - everything about marriage makes me depressed. It's almost as if I don't have faith in marriage anymore...especially since my situation is not isolated. Infidelity happens all around us and there is no escaping it.

    I paused when you wrote "Let him be free. Don't fight with him." I don't see him as a prisoner at all.

    Finally, I indulge in my children every. single. day. :) They are my world and they are the reason why I continue this fight to save this marriage. My children deserve the best and I am driven to give it to them. You know...that may be another reason why I am so devastated. This is not the marriage I wanted for my children...hhhmmm....might be doing a post about that.

    Thanks for your writing and support!

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  4. Hi! I felt the same as you! I first struggled like mad looking around me at my wedding photos and family celebrations displayed around the house. I used to look at my wedding ring and felt nothing but pain, as that for me still had so much value, and for him? It was still in his finger when he touched the other woman.

    I without even noticing started to remove my wedding ring and putting it on the table when I was talking to someone. My counsellor was the first one to point out. Why do you keep playing with it?

    I, one day took the wedding photos, and put it away in a draw. I replaced all photos of us as a family for ONLY my children's photos. Three months after the DDay I removed my wedding ring as well. It is kept for posterity. For me it is a reminder of a time when our love was pure. When loving was easy and simple. My husband still wears his wedding ring, but for me it shines like a ton of gold in his finger! Every time I look at it, it reminds me that, that ring, what it symbolized, meant NOTHING to him when he gave in to advances of the other woman, the sad predator that chased him. But he wants to wear it! So be it. Intimately I like that he wears it!

    I feel free of visual reminders around the house. As you know; it does not stop the pain, but at least I don't have to be reminded that those wedding vowels were empty words, said by him. He is trying to make amend, but is it ever possible to move forward? I am trying. One little but sure step at the time.

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  5. Thank you. Thank you for making feel like I am not alone and that my feelings are valid. I feel your pain, I really do. I only hope that someday both you and I can look past the affair. Like you said, I don't know how that is done but I am trying...desperately hard. Peace to you...

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