Monday, June 27, 2011

Wedding Anniversary TOMORROW

I haven't written here for months because life just got in the way. I would have something happen and then another thing happen and then I just got overwhelmed to have to come here and write it all out. But, today I received an email from someone who is where I was about 4 months ago and I felt like it was time to come back.

I am struggling right now. Tomorrow would have been our 8th anniversary. No, we didn't get a divorce, I just have chosen to not celebrate our anniversary ever again. When my stupid husband had the affair he broke the promise he made to me on that day 8 years ago and when a promise is broken - it's broken for good. I mean really, why make a promise if it can be broken and then made again? Yeah...not possible in my book.

So what do I feel right now? Like I am mourning the death of someone special. But in this case, it's not a person but it's my marriage. I mourn that special day that we had standing up at the alter promising that we would be faithful to one another for the rest of our lives... And again, I find myself thinking, "And it wasn't even my fault."

You may say, "Well, why don't you just celebrate how you are getting through this huge bomb that went off in your marriage?" Because that's not what you celebrate on an anniversary. An anniversary to celebrate the day you committed yourself to one another. It shouldn't be a day to say, "YAY...even though you broke our marriage vows, we are still "married"" Seems a bit ridiculous to me...

Not to insult anyone else who does believe that they should still celebrate their's just not me. I will wallow in my self-pity and mourn the day. Tomorrow night I will look back and think, "Thank God that's over..."

This is the beginning of me writing on this blog again, so check back often I have SO SO SO much good stuff to tell you. You will be really surprised at how life works ...or at least how mine does.

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