Friday, October 16, 2015

Infidelity in Marriage

Infidelity and the threat of it are the largest threats to a marriage. However, it is not necessarily fatal. It is possible to heal the marriage and even become closer than before this happened. This article explores ways of dealing with infidelity and looks at some of the things that cause it to take place.

Infidelity and the threat of it, is the largest single issue that threatens marriages. A basis of all healthy marriage is the ability to trust. It is not only the sexual betrayal but the lies that accompany infidelity that are so devastating. This break of trust need not be fatal; if both parties truly wish to do so it can be repaired. It takes time, patience, wisdom and true dedication for this process to work.

First, it is absolutely necessary to acknowledge what has happened. No step forward can be taken without honesty. The individual who has strayed must be clear about what has gone on. This does not mean they are to be punished or blamed, but must be accountable, taking responsibility for their actions. Next it is crucial to find out the deeper reasons in the relationship that caused this to take place. What has been lacking? Have there been hidden resentments? What does the marriage need, right now?
If both individuals are willing to confront the issues, to open communication, be honest, respectful and patient, then the marriage can emerge even stronger than before.

Emotional Infidelity


The question of infidelity has become much broader as individuals have obtained easier access to others through the internet. Many often satisfy their wish for other relationships or for fantasy and adventure through activities online. When we do not see or have to interact with another in person, there is comfortable distance, which leads one to believe that nothing is going on. Individuals often feel they can easily exchange intimacies. Demands made upon one another and can be handled easily through a few words. This stimulates a hotbed of fantasy and it becomes easy to feel one has someone in their life who cares and is there for them. Before they know it, excitement, attachment or dependency arises, and interferes with feelings towards the spouse.

This is a dangerous arena to go into. To protect the well-being of your marriage, stay away from it. Realize that online relationships, or other relationships where you feelings and fantasies become stirred up are a temptation to enter into fantasy. Inevitably, they make your primary relationship at home seem less important to you.

There is a thin line here and it is crossed easily. Define and set boundaries for your emotions and needs. If there is a reason why they are not being fulfilled at home, talk it out as soon as possible, create quality time together, explore new ways of enjoying each other and breaking a possibly deadening routine.

Addictions crop up in marriages and are often hidden from a spouse. The addiction to porn is one of them, and closely allied to infidelity. When spouses find out they are often devastated by it. Many wives feel utterly betrayed, threatened and as though they have not been good enough and are not attractive to their husbands. Often they discover the addiction because their husband's sexual desire for them has decreased. Addictions can be much harder to break than one first realizes. Usually it requires professional help.

The addict must not make light of the situation, but fully realize that he/she is caught in the grip of an illness and needs professional help. These addictions can provide all kinds of highs and excitement that a real flesh and blood relationship may not able to offer. For some men, after being addicted to online porn it is boring or difficult to have that much sexual interest in their wives any longer. Awareness must be brought to this situation. Even though the man minimizes it, the woman must hold onto her own reality and need for respect. She must not deny the way you she is feeling, but see to it that professional help is sought.

It is always better to do this sooner than later. The longer an addiction grows the harder it can be to let go of. It is important to recognize these threats to your marriage for what they are, not blame yourself for them or brush them under the table, but to face the issues directly in a constructive and hopeful way. Let your partner know that together you can find a solution that works for both of you. Blaming the self or blaming the other is never helpful and leads nowhere. Acceptance, communication and understanding, however, always go a long way. Needless to say, both must be willing to work on this together. If the partner is not willing to deal with it, then the woman should seek help for herself in making constructive choices for her own life.

All marriages go through challenges. Whether these challenges destroy your relationship or make it stronger, is up to both of you. It takes two to make this commitmentFree Web Content, however. One person cannot do it alone.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Discover surprising truths about love in top selling program Save Your Relationship (21 Basic Laws to Successful Relationships). Get copy at http://www.truthaboutlove.com , Top psychologist, family and divorce mediator, speaker, author has helped thousands.Get free ezine and articles at http://www.brendashoshanna.com , topspeaker@yahoo.com. (212) 288-0028

3 comments:

  1. Some people cheat maybe because they think they cannot get what they want in their partners. It's a bad thing to do, but maybe they are not prepared for rejection when they want something new to try. But of course, this reason does not justify their means. It is really frustrating when you learn that your partner cheated on you,my husband was cheating and i was able to catch him through the help of a cyber genius who hacked his phone and gave me remote access to his phone without touching it,he was surprised how i was able to confront him with so much proof..you can contact this hacker if ever your partner's commitment is in doubt,he is reachable via Email=hackingloop6 @ g m a i l . c o m, or you can text +1(7 1 2)2 9 2 6 5 5,tell him i referred you.

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  2. People need to understand that it requires TWO people to make a marriage work. Almost any problem CAN be worked out, but only if BOTH parties are willing to do the work. When I got married, I intended it to be forever. I worked HARD for a VERY long time to repair our problems. He, however, wasn't willing to work on himself. I found myself in a situation where my only options were to live in a toxic and unhappy situation for the rest of my life or leave. So I left. It wasn't easy and I didn't take it lightly.I was emotionally traumatized by his uncontrollable cheating habit,he lied to the point i was seen as a BAD wife,all thanks to 'hackingloop6@gmail . c o m' for their investigative and hacking service that helped me gain access to all his phone activities remotely and expo0sed all he was doing behind my back.It really takes two positive minds to make marriage work.You can also reach hackinloop on +1 712 292-2655.

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