Sunday, July 3, 2011

Buying a Car with a Cheater

I've had a Toyota Corolla for 8 years and have a 2 and 5 year old. It's not exactly a family car because it's small. It works though so that's why I haven't had to get a larger vehicle. However, it's gotten to the point that I am little embarrassed when I go places because it's older and most moms have a mini-van or SUV.

My husband has always done what he wants with vehicles. He has a lifted off-roading dream Jeep, he's had a Infiniti, a pickup truck, and two motorcycles. I'm not one for vehicles so he's picked up the slack on that.

Anyway, we've been talking about getting me a family car for well over a year. Even while he was having the affair. But once I caught him and almost divorced, we definitely put those plans to rest for a while.

The past few months we've started talking about it and saving again for something for me. This week I got the itch to finally buy something. We went to see a Ford Flex but the guy would not budge on the price and it was just ridiculous. Then we stopped at another dealership and there is a Lincoln Navigator (used) for sale. My husband, of course, falls in love. It does have everything we were looking for in a SUV...but it's not exactly a mom-mobile. I think more Ghetto-mobile (no offense to those offended by the word ghetto)...All I can think of is "BIG PIMPIN" Not little white girl...

But the price is really good and it's condition is really good. It really is a smart purchase EXCEPT... when it comes time to buy...MANY thoughts run  through my mind... what if he decides to be stupid again? Can I afford this vehicle? Will he run off with it? Why am I entering into this agreement to buy a car when it hasn't been a year since he had a slut as a girlfriend? Is this really a smart move?

When I told my cheater husband that I didn't think I wanted to get it ...he became so upset. Oh I am so sorry cheated on me, now I can't trust you, and I won't do everything you want anymore. You sure did screw shit up huh? Ugh... He was ranting and raving about how good he has been and how he has shown how much he loves me...and he would do anything for me...and he is so sorry...and he wants to give up because he doesn't know what else to do blah blah blah... You know what I say to that? SHUT UP! You cheating bastard... I am scared to death you will leave me in ruins because you'll decide it's a good idea to have some slut as a "friend" again. And by the way, who is this vehicle for? Me or YOU?

I told him that he is unsupportive and he said I was is that being hateful? Being supportive would have been putting an arm around me and saying, "I know... I really messed up...we will wait until you feel more comfortable getting a car with me." NOT..."WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO DO - NOT GET A NEW CAR? AND WHEN IN THE WORLD WILL I EVER GET A NEW VEHICLE". Oh so that's what it know you can't get a new vehicle, until I do... LOL... I guess that's just more motivation  to put things off.

One year ago, my husband was telling me he was sick to his stomach and sent me and the kids to play mini-golf while we were vacationing in Myrtle Beach. While I was playing with the kids, he was meeting his slut for a car quickie.... Yeah, I think I will keep my paid off vehicle for a little while longer. JERK.

What would you do?


  1. Stick to your guns. If you both have been planning on getting YOU a car, get a car you are comfortable with and want. Don't settle - on this or any of your desires/wants etc.

    (Btw I've been lurking for a while, I like your viewpoints too)

  2. Hi Michelle! Thanks for poking your head in. :-) You are so right and I have stuck to my guns. Except I found a car that I really want now...but there's that tinge of fear of what happens if he decides to be stupid again...

  3. I'd be tempted to wait just because that makes him wait to get something new for himself. It's usually fun to go car shopping! Doesn't sound like much fun with him though.

    Now that you've found one you like, I say go for it! Treat yourself and don't play the what-if game. if he does it again, he can continue helping to pay for it.

    As for him, his next vehicle should be one of those ridiculously small cars in which sex would be nearly impossible.

  4. Buckeye Wife - have the right idea. Waiting would make him wait but it also makes me wait - ugh. But today we'll go and see what kind of deal we can get. You are right about the what if game...I really do deserve this...after all I have been through.

    Oh and that is hilarious about the small car...too bad they did it in her car. :-\


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