Saturday, October 30, 2010

The Affair Ruined My Self-Esteem

Photo: m_bartosch
The rage came out again tonight mixed in with depression. I decided to buy some pretty new underwear today and decided to try them out tonight. I tend to not take close looks at myself in the mirror because it causes me to start finding every flaw and that just brings me down. You would think that something sexy would make me feel better about myself. WRONG! ...All because of cheater's affair!

I put on my new panties and take a look at how my 32 year old butt looks in them. I've been working out and my butt has never looked better. My first reaction was, oh wow look at that. But then...the image of the slut popped into my mind. Specifically the photo I saw of her taking a picture of her butt exactly how I was standing looking at mine. Except since she is 24, she didn't have stretch marks covering each cheek from having two kids.

Now, this just led me to start inspecting other parts of my body. My favorite attack is my stomach. My stomach has never looked so good except...the loose skin that has set up camp. Hey, you don't have a 8lbs 12oz baby boy without having your skin stretch...

These things wouldn't normally bother me so damn much because I am realistic knowing that I had two kids. However, it's a whole different ball game when I know my cheating husband had his eyes and hands all over some tight ass.

So what does a girl do in this situation? She exclaims, "I HATE YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME! I will never be able to say that my husband really loves me because after having two kids he still only has eyes for me." As my husband starts drowning in the quicksand of my rage, he is throwing whatever he can at me..."You're're're hot...I can't keep my eyes and hand off you..." Oh stop please... if you had thought about that before you laid down with would have seen me in my new panties and we would be getting it on right now.I guess all that sex you were having with not only her but with me too is really starting to even out now. Aaawwww.....poor baby.


  1. You make me laugh. I know it isn't a funny situation but you are funny...if that makes sense? I totally get what you are saying about feeling sexy after babies. It's super hard for me with *just* the postbabybody issue. Can't imagine what I'd do with the infidelity issue too. Yeah I can. It would probably involve sharp blades. >:-)

  2. I know...the postbabybody is NO joke. I wouldn't trade it for the world though for my two kids. That's the thing, it's not really my body that makes me upset, it's the comparison to the slut's body that gets me...that BITCH.

  3. Interesting that you are blaming a women who made NO promises to you or vows to be faithful, unlike your husband. She is less of a slut than your husband is. He is the one that betrayed you, he is the one who you should direct your anger at. She just happened to be in the right place at the right time...He is the one who stole your feelings of attractiveness.

  4. It is you husband that ruins your self-esteem when they are having the affair. Yes, their choice to break a vow makes you notice every flaw (real or imagined). I went through the same situation--actually, mine had seven affairs. one was six days after our marriage (he even said it was because I was a shitty wife). The women were indeed sluts with a long trail of having a thing for married men (not rumors, all verifiable). Yes, my husband was to blame as well, but that doesn't let sluts that like married men get off the hook! If I was knowingly sleeping with a married man knowing he wasn't leaving his wife--yes, I would be a slut. I was diagnosed with body image dysmorphia, anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder after my husband's affairs, so I completely understand what you're going through and it is devastating. Through time and counseling, you do start feeling better. Keep your head up.

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