Thursday, November 11, 2010

Why Men Cheat: Selfishness

Photographer: Darren Robertson
Beside the fact that my husband has bipolar disorder, I believe his actions were also based on his selfishness. He has always been selfish, it's inherited from his mother. However, he's taken selfishness to a whole new level when he decided to have an affair.

He says that the affair had nothing to do with me (which I don't entirely believe). He says that he wasn't thinking about hurting me, he was just doing what felt good. Oh so when you decided to text, email, call and meet her, you didn't think about me and how I would feel if I found out? What an ass.

All he did was think about how he felt and what he wanted. He wanted to escape from the reality of life and death. He wanted to be in never never land with someone who didn't truly care about him nor the life he created with other people (his wife and kids). All he wanted to do was sit by the pool, drink with someone, not have to deal with the responsibilities of parenthood and then have sex and nap whenever he wanted to because he didn't have to wait for the kids to go to sleep.

Life is hard and we all wish we could escape it once and a while. However, we can't. We have to learn to deal with the crap that enters our lives, not run away from it. My husband has run away from everything that has been painful in his life, the problem in this situation is that him running away didn't only affect him, it affected all of us.


  1. I agree, it is based on SELFISHNESS! My husband said he thought about his family and fought his feelings for OW every minute of every day. He thought it through as to why he should not act upon his desire, however I guess selfsihness crept in and his feelings and desires won in the end forcing all thought of wife and 4 children out. As a result of a thought out decision, the consequences are now being played out. I sometimes just want ot act like a child and kick and scream and punch him til it hurt him so bad just to give him an idea of what he has done to his wife. I read the comment "Dead on impact" that is exactly how I feel, except I am still living!

  2. Wow...four children. How in the world could anyone turn their back on their own children and wife for something that may only be temporary. I know the feeling of wanting to kick and scream like a child. I didn't exactly want to punch my husband but I did want to throw myself on the floor and have a tantrum like a toddler because I so didn't want it to be happening. "Dead on impact" is exactly how I feel as well. I even told my therapist that I feel dead inside... Infidelity is such a blow to your inner core.


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